Pooping in Japan: An Advanced Guide

Welcome back to our exclusive series on releasing brown flounder in the Land of the Rising Sun.

Welcome back to our exclusive series on releasing brown flounder in the Land of the Rising Sun.

Some of the techniques discussed in our advanced guides can lead to injury or possibly death, so for those of you who are new to the series, we strongly recommend starting out with our previous how-tos, Pooping in Japan: A Beginners Guide, and Pooping in Japan: An Intermediate Guide.

Safety first, and Happy Pooping!

Step 1

Position yourself strategically atop the state-of-the-art airport space potty.

Step 2

Ponder the additional control panel as you make your final positioning adjustments.

Step 3

Commence hurried defecation sequence, as your flight will be boarding soon.

Step 4

Immediately upon completion, randomly mash the buttons on the indecipherable control panel, and hope your ass doesn’t get blown off.

Step 5

Always remember, if your other end needs cleaning too, the cornhole spray nozzle can be used to wet your toothbrush in a pinch.

Good luck, and happy pooping!

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